Relationship linguistics

04.02.2005Osebno
I`ve been meaning to write about this days ago but I guess I did not get around to it. The topic was in the back of my head but I guess there is a time and place for everything and it should not be rushed.

The post could also bear the title: “Phones and greetings” but I like the current title better. It sounds more…omnious. Leaves more room for interpretation. Anyway…

I noticed that people start changing once they are in a relationship. That they change, on the outside and inside (well, more on the inside, except it`s one of those “really weird” relationships) and the thing that I want to discuss here is the phone dialogue style they adopt. You ever notice that? How all the people in the world say HI when they call you, but when two people involved in a relationship call, the first thing they ask is “Where are you?” Not “Hi!” or “How are you?” or “Hey babe” but “Where are you?“. Sounds like the devil calling. And did you notice that conversations are usually shorter when one is talking to his/her loved one than in general? Why exactly is that? It`s like a completely different set of rules applies when you are “engaged” with someone and all of the sudden the basic conversational skills go out the window? Why do people get the feeling or the need to dominate people they should in fact encourage to be what they really are? On average, people talk less about their problems with their “partners” than with the people outside of their relationships. Why exactly is that?

Even better question is are people aware of that? Of their changes and tweaks? How exactly does one justifies them? Do they even notice them, feel them?

I guess we all get them from somewhere. The patterns. From our “heroes”, people we admire and look up to, parents, significant others… Where exactly does this pattern imprinting ends and where does the “invidivuality” begins? How do you know that we are treating someone cause we want them to treat like that and that we are not, in fact, copying patterns off of people we look up to. We copy something we think it works. And we neglect the fact that it works for somebody else. And that we all have to find our own way.

Sigh.

You are right, I do think too much. From now on, I`ll only think three hours a day and an hour and a half on weekends.

In other news, it`s friday, y`all. Which means weekend, which means finally getting some sleep. And maybe have some dreams at last. Fat chance.