Eye in the sky

11.02.2005Osebno
It seems that I am on the right track again. I feel solid ground beneath my feet once again and it feels like home. I guess getting rid of the burdens from the past really helps at dealing with the present and the future. With focusing on things beyond duty and obligation.
It felt good to be among people again, hear them talk and laugh. Feel them as independent entities, unburdened and free. Feel the world and the sights and sounds of it.

OK, enough of new age for one post, don`t wanna scare my regular readers. And no…you may not feel my aura 🙂

Manic street preachers in my dvd player. Motorcycle emptiness video.

I am still in a state of catatonia as far as the results go. I feel indifferent but relieved. An impossible combination. A close-to-impossible situation. And yet…here we are.

I used to believe that just the good things happen. That there is a plan behind every action and every event. Then bad things started happening and the plan-based world began to dissentigrate. Replaced by the world of chaos, random events that did not make sense and general anarchy. Fatalism. Doing things to pass time. No reason. No consequences.

I am not jumping the gun and declaring “the era of reason” is back, but things are starting to turn. To move in the right direction. I am once again getting back the analytical perspective and focus, distance and goal.

So…what to do till October (that`s when I go back to the faculty)?

There`s always writing a novel.
Work and then travel around.
Work and save money for something big.
Don`t work and just spend my time reading.
Improvise.

Right now…I`ll go to bed.