New territory ahead

01.07.2005Osebno

After the last black-out (damn this electricity!) I calmed down a little and managed to contain my ghosts in a safe place. That is why this version will be shorter and a lot less essayistic than the first one. The introduction is here and I guess what scares me the most is the fact that the situation is completely unknown to me. I was never on this end of the rope and I guess I do not feel comfortable around stuff I do not know. Because in “our” triangle, I am the new guy. And they are old buddies. Which puts me in an awkward position of not knowing everything and relying on trust and hope. Which is a good thing, if only a little…erm…weird to say the least.

I know that I am not alone in this and that it`s not me against them or her against us or even me against him. Now all I have to do is to convince my stupid brain of the same thing. And the faster I stop seeing ghosts of the past come to life and dance around me, the sooner I`ll feel better. The bitch about the irationality is that it cannot be beaten by a rational approach. Cause those two things aren`t even in the same universe. So all there is to do now is to dumb down this brain of mine and stop thinking ahead. Using the past as a reference. I know I can.