I don`t know why I chose that exact title of this post. It just…came to me. The title of the song. Featured on the soundtrack of the movie “Heat”. I guess not every thing on this world is one “of reason”.

I guess my current blues has something to do with me being tired. Lack of food will do that to you. And it`s not that I don`t have time to eat or something like that, it`s just that…I don`t know. It`s like I don`t feel the need to eat. Or I am not making a connection between feeling blue and food.

I went for a walk with a college of mine, and the weirdest thing happened. It`s like, we made an appointment yesterday and I was looking forward to it, as if this was something out of the ordinary and such. As if she was one of the most important persons in this world and that meeting her would make a difference to my life. I know…bloody drama queen. And then when we did meet and walked her dog, talking about this and that…I felt like this is something that I should not be doing. Not that I am doing something wrong or stuff, but just…I felt weird. Like we are talking and walking just for the show. Same old conversations, same old phrases, same old bones to pick.

It was almost like a deja vu, a curse under which you can only talk about certain things with certain people and everything else is faux de pas. And you both know it and don`t even bother to go there, to take a different path, a different pace. It`s like a Sartre`s “No exit“. And even if one would do the unthinkable, step way out of line, it still would not change a thing. I tried. Everything stayed the same.

The day went fine otherwise. I got the Star Wars trilogy on DVD (David, you interested?), made the covers myself. Actually downloaded a software that does that and it did the trick with minimum fuss.

It`s friday tomorrow, “our” lawyer decided that friday is a good day for reinstalling her laptop. Hm. Wondering how many things will go wrong. There`s always something that goes wrong around “those” kind of people. They can`t help it and there`s nothing you can do about it. It`s a curse. I ching. The flow of the things. Karma. Something you just have take into the account.

I`m thinking of getting a second job. Something for the afternoon and evening. I guess I`ll ask around, see if they are looking somebody like me. Just till october I guess, to make time pass/ money come faster.

I`m giving a lecture next week, thinking about putting together a presentation or something. So funny, I always manage to lose or misplace it. And I guess this way you could say that every time, it feels like the first time.

DOOMSDAY

If today would be the end,
when blood and tear would blend,
if you knew there?s no tomorrow,
would you feel the sorrow?

No more drugs and no more crime,
no more people doing time,
no more this and no more that,
you could choose your path.

No more pain, no more greed,
no more hungry mouths to feed,
everything would go its way,
if today would be doomsday.

If today would be doomsday,
would you go outside and play,
no more hunters, no more prey,
everything would be OK.

Fires burning everywhere,
does anybody ?bout you care,
you are on your own today,
free at last on your doomsday.

Everything turns to nothing,
this is sad but true,
no more love and no more hope,
I am feeling blue.

Core begins to melt,
earth is going dead,
time is standing still,
enter cemetery hill.

Now there?s nothing left,
darkness all around,
death is in the air,
silence is the only sound.

Have a smashing friday, folks.