It is art, you know. Being sick, handling yourself and at the same time not feel the need to jump through the window…that takes a lot of skill. Nothing happens, everything stays the same and everything moves so slowly. I usually get better not cause of the drugs and pills, but cause of sheer will power to go out there and do stuff. To not sit at home and drink sucky tea, not knowing what to do with myself.
Usually, being sick is something I relate very strongly with feeling depressed. I don`t know why, but I guess part of it has something to do with the lack of energy. Lack of energy leads to feeling worthless. Feeling worthless leads to… you know the story.
I don`t think I described the “duck” photo well enough. Think bath-tube, a duck and me. In B&W. No-pasaran style. Now think again. And let me know if you REALLY want to see it (it does not really matter, I sent it to some people via email. Novala will have to make a special request since…well…I know her. Haha. Sigh.
It`s only four p.m. I finished the “blogging” lecture, now all I have to do is make a powerpoint presentation. At least I`ll finish something in time.
I`ve also been told that I should stop feeling sorry for myself and go out and make new friends. So how bout that? Anybody who wants to be friend with me, drop me a line. And schedule a meeting. Somewhere safe and public. So you can run away screaming comfortably when I show up.
So…any takers on my offer?
i will meet you tomorrow at about 12, cos i have to be at work at 1. we can meet for coffee. sound ok?
hm.
dude u gotta just do it like outside of your safe little pad, outside in the sunshine or in the middle of the night but it aint gonna happen if you don’t make yourself available and stop telling every person you meet that they won’t like you its you whom doesn’t like you so stop telling other people what they will or won’t do. tell your self that you are able, capable and deserving of love. it aint easy so don’t think it is but it’s that simple. you will find it when you stop looking. but your right sick and depressed are synonyms so unless you enjoy it let it go and the easiest way to do that is to stop holding on to it.