It`s something that has to be done. Meeting the parents. It`s inevitable, because seriously, you cannot tell them forever you are going “out with a friend” when in reality you are spending time with a person you are going to spend (if everything goes well) the rest of your life together.
In my “parent meeting” career I met three pairs of parents. And they all differed from one another like day and night. I guess the age had something to do with it too, but what I am trying to say here is that there is no general approach to a succesful (first) meet.
The type of parents I personally love the most is the backstabbing kind. Smile in your face, but when you leave… Been dealing with the kind for almost three years. Never again.
The thing with meeting the parents is that the minute you know you are going to meet them for the first time, the world changes. Or at least…the perception of it. You are alert, nervous, tense, you try to find meaning in every single gesture you or they make etc. The way they look at you, the way they talk (or don`t talk for that matter) to you and such. All of the sudden you feel like you`re on trial, that everything you say or do can and will be used against you.
The truth is they are not supermen. They do not read people in twenty seconds time. They are usually too busy with their own worries to focus solely on a girl their son brings home for the first time. Especially is there`s a birthday party in progress and there`s four more people there, like this was the case.
How to prepare for such an occasion? My guess is as good as any but I try not to over-react. I mean, I met her parents for the first time wearing my biking outfit. You don`t get calmer than that.
Anyway, we dropped by, wished my mom a happy birthday and then sat at the table, making small talk with the rest of the company. And the minute they started talking about in terms of “I have this lump on my back and the doctors say…” we left. I think the timing was good. You don`t want to reveal too much of the medical history of your family to your girlfriend on the first meet with parents.
Of course, you cannot escape the awkward moments. We had one (1) in total. “Where did you two meet?”
It`s not their fault, mind you. It`s a general stereotype. I remember my parents saying “Go out, meet people. You`ll never meet anyone riding your bike or surfing the net“. Ha!
All in all, it went according to plan. Which is good. Nobody was screaming bloody murder and the whole thing felt normal. Having her there and all. Which is the way it should and will be. Normality uber alle!
I drove her home, came back. Tired. Damn daylight saving time. And now…it`s up, up up and away, into the light and into the day!