B: Assistant, report!

19.04.2005Osebno

A:Yes sir. I mean, here you go sir.

*the report is passed from the shaky hands of an assistant into the muscular (I wish) hand of a captain who spins in his seat, glancing through it*

B: What`s this?
A: What`s what, sir?
B: Don`t you smart ass me…this…this CC thing! This is all you`ve been doing?
A: Well, yes sir…it`s lawyers speak and I`m not good at it. Plus the light was bad and it`s hard for me to keep a literal translation, without any corrections.
B: And what`s this? You went to the post office? Is that true??
A: Well yes sir…I went to the post office and picked up some paper for the printers.
B: *puts his fingers together like so* Excellent. And how is the plan going on?
A: The plan?
B: *smacks the assistant* You know knitwit…the plan?!?
A: Oh…right on schedule sir. We`ll have that baby cows in cans in no time!
B: That was the plan???
A: Wasn`t it?
B: NO!?!
A: Oh…sorry sir…I thought…never mind then *mumbles incoherently into the phone*
B: The plan, my soon-to-be-removed-assistant was to keep on rebuilding the site from those pesky men in tights.
A: Oh…yes…please forgive me…the plan is going according to itself. I think we`ll be up an running on monday.
B: We? You must be joking. I am not lifting a finger!
A: Sorry sir…I mean…I`ll be ready on monday.
B: What do you mean…you? You`re just a small cog in this macroscopic plan…without me…you are worse than the trash they pick up on thursdays!
A: Erm…ok?
B: You bet I am!
*minutes of silence pass*
A: Will that be all sir?
B: Ugh! You`re still here?
A: Well, yes sir…you did not…
B: *interupts* Whenever I am silent it means that I want you gone!
A: Very good sir. I shall be gone imidiately!
B: No…now you got me talking. And whenever you got me talking, I want you to…
A: Die?
B: What? Don`t be silly. I want you to make me a cup of hot chocolate!
A: Very good sir.
B: And some toast, but not the kind…

*fade out*

 

En komentar na “B: Assistant, report!

  1. Jaja Dojaja

    black adder rides again?!
    The BBC says there are no plans in the pipeline for a new series of the hit comedy Blackadder. – BBC online 10/02/05

    fcuk BBC, we have national television….they don’t produce such black tragic comedies…..they ARE such black tragic…..

     

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