A: We are honoured by the presence of a true doctor tonight on the “Lejt najt fajls”, a show that keeps on giving, without the annoying commericals and Helena Blagne. His name is well-known through-out the world and I would like to give a warm welcome to the doctor Octocock!
B:It`s pleasure to be on the show and each of my eight cocks is feeling mighty fine if I say so myself.
A: Now, I think the question on the lips of all the readers out there is…how does a man get around growing eight cocks?
B: Well, you see, it`s really easier than it sounds. Eight cocks come quite handy if you know what I mean.
A: Well, from the look of it, you look like a mix between an octopussy and a cow. What are the advantages of having eight cocks?
B:The first and the most obvious reason is that you get a lot of attention when you are walking or even running around (think pamela anderson in baywatch, only with cocks. Eight of them to be precise). The second most obvious reason is multitasking. I`ve assigned to each cock a special task which they perform rather well.
A: And what would those tasks be, exactly?
B: Well, this one right here is meant for making Union beer. You can see from the shape of it that it`s been doing this for quite some time and that the edges are a bit frayed. However, it`s still manages to do the job pretty well if only on special occasions. The big one comes pretty hand when fighting off wild hamsters that prey on the innocent people on their strolls. I have a special contract with the police department of Slovenia to use it only when absolutely necessary. The green one is for hitchhiking. You`d be amazed at how many women pull over at the sign of a green cock jumping up and down at the side of the road. However, I am a family guy myself so I only use it for getting a hitch. That`s an H. Not, I repeat, not a B. And nothing else. The I have a group of three, spotty, snotty and spikey, which are used for various jobs around the house. Hedge trimmings, plowing…stuff like that. They are really good at it and they reall do a nice job. The thin one is for mixing the soup where there`s more than two pots on the stove and the bruised one is for preventing me to bang any objects when walking in the dark.
A: And what`s the hairy one for?
B: For fucking.
A: Oh.
A:Erm…
A: Well, yes…I was wondering about your clothes…how do you get them to stand still?
B: That`s easy, you just tuck them in and then think really hard of this. And all is well.
A: I see. And so…what do you do? For a living I mean?
B: Well, it might come off as a surprise but the work I am currently involved with has absolutely nothing to do with my eight cocks.
A: Oh, so you`re not in the porno business? Or a circus?
B: No, no, don`t be ridiculous. I`m a salesman. I sell socks.
A: Ah…very nice. Socks. Excellent.
B: I think so too. But my biggest wish is…oh, no, I cannot.
A: What? Please…our readers are dying to know…
R(eaders): *dying*
B: Well…you see…every since I was a little boy I wanted to meet nurse octopussy.
A: Awww…
B: Yes…my sexual life has been, to say the least, frustrating. Imagine eight women to agree to have sex with you at the same time. And then not fight over which cock belongs to which. With nurse octopussy, it would be a snap. Eight snaps even.
A: Well, I hope you get your wish come true. If there`s a nurse octopussy out there, doctor has been kind enough to let us have his address so if you are interested, do not hesitate to write. That`s all for now and join us next time when we host an elite team of cock hunters. Till then…drive safe and good night!