You know. Those things you hold over your head when the rain falls and they prevent the rain from getting to you. At least, that is the principle. In reality, a completely different thing happens.
You see, my umbrella does not fit the definition. Or at least…the definition is slightly askew. So instead of “…prevent the rain getting to you“, my umbrella does “...prevent the rain getting to the hand that holds it!” Everything else gets wet. And I mean everything else.
There`s this bridge on the way to work. When it rains, the sewerage gets clogged up and water just sits there. Waiting. For a fucking dump truck to drive through that ocean`o`puddle and spray it sky high. Seriously, you know how cars usually drive through puddles and it hits you around the knees? Well, this one went over my fucking head! It`s was like surfing, only it was not.
So right now I am sitting here, AT WORK!, bare-foot, wrapped in a blanket and wearing a promo-tshirt while my clothes are drying up. Fucking spectacular!