Since Baya is explaining her view on the matter, I guess here`s my two cents. I could post in her comments, but what the hell…the topic is worth debating.
This topic is a text-book example of how the society shapes the individual. Where do you come from and how were you treated as a kid. Kids learn. Kids mimic. Kids do.
I think I wrote about the pajama incident. It`s something that shaped the way I see gifts and presents.
Pleasing someone with giving him/her what she/he needs is one of the greatest feelings of all times. The most important thing is function. The satisfaction of a need. Cause people do have them. Needs I mean. We are sometimes afraid to express them or don`t want to express them, but that does not mean they do not exist.
According to Baya, I am used to big gifts. Our perception of money and big differs greatly and sometimes I have problems making out the right and the wrong perception. There`s a saying in slovene that goes “Kdor z malim ni zadovoljen, velikega vreden ni” (The person who does not appreciate little things, is not worth to receive great things –> someone correct me if there is an official translation of the proverb). Does this implies that you are not suppose to wish for big things? For things that matter to you? Sure, we could all go into the desert and be hermits. We could all live the life of St. Francis of Assisi and despise the flesh, praising only the spirit. But a man is also a creature of flesh. No point in denying it. Things matter to us.
In my universe, gifts are useful. Knowing a person helps a lot. Listening to them, hearing their wishes. Wishing for something out loud is a good thing. It helps to know what a person wants.
I am still thinking about her sentence. “He is used to big things“. Looking back at my previous gifts. Usually, grandparents gave up on trying to figure out what I want so they just sent money with a card. Writing “Hope this will be useful“. And then I used the money up for different things. Practical things. Phone bills, books… I always sought to spend money for useful things. Things I will use. Things I will “need“. I did not expect anything. I only knew, it a vague sense, that I will get something. A thing.
Expressing wishes differs greatly from expecting these wishes to be fulfilled. Wishing for something is not the same as telling someone what to make or do. To expect something means limit yourself greatly. If wishes fly, expectations bring you down, hard and sudden. If a wish does not get granted, nothing bad happens. But if expectations are not met…then there`s hell to pay.