My parents started using email to communicating with me. I do not know if that`s a good or a bad thing. I am leaning towards the good thing since mails are cool. And they don`t repeat themselves. The bad thing is the stuff they write in it. Makes me think that they are talking to a completely different person. Like it`s not me. In fact, I wonder what will improve the situation. To answer or not to answer?
It`s funny, if you think about it. First your parents opinion means a world to you. Then you see how they are not gods and how they too (can) make mistakes. And then you just stop caring, you note down their opinion which is as good as any other and do your thing. From crying to laughing to not caring. Which is worse, I cannot tell. I do not want to quarrel with them. Wasting my energy on stuff it`s already decided in their heads. Like Živa said, this will only be a test of how much balls do I have. Do I have the guts to stand up and tell them what I think? Is it worth the bother?
I often think about that. Where and when exactly do we lose the feeling of making a difference? When do we face things and say “Fuck it. This is how it is. No point of doing anything about it.” Or is that just because at some point in life, we are actually content with how the universe is organised? I guess every once in a while, things need a little readjustment. Little tweaks.
If this whole thing was happening in the black era which lasted from october 2004 to march 2005, I don`t know what I would do. Probably something really stupid. But now, things changed. I know it`s going to sound stupid and corny but I believe in myself. I believe in the stuff I do, the way I treat people. It`s all just a point of view. There is no great truth that surpasses everything else.
This is not an independece call. I am still a few $$$ short of that. This gravitates more towards a call for a co-existence and recognition. Towards a reality check. Mostly for them. To finally realise that things are changing. And that they have to change too. I am not asking for a friggin revolution. Just a gentle curve.
I could not stay indoors in the morning. I went out, saw Ovtsa and some of her friends, caught a show (the whole city is doing a medieval festival and there were knights all over the place) of “dipping the baker“. You see, when the bakers did not charge fair prices or/and they made bad bread, the townfolks tied them by the legs and dipped them in the Ljubljanica river. And that`s exactly what they did today. With a help of a crane. But the guy that was dressed as a baker did not wear any protective suit. And that`s courage. Considering the Ljubljanica is not exactly the cleanest river in the world and has sewerage from all over the place dumped in. Euch. And as always, I left my camera at home. Murphy, where are you?
I also did some proof-reading on the blog lecture that I am giving on friday. Sorry, this time it`s a closed group, some 50+ old guys from the national television. I am having a meeting tomorrow morning where the price of the lecture will be discussed. Which is sort of a weird subject to be discussing with me since I am not very good at evaluating my work and putting a price on it. Usually I bid too low. And on the other hand, money is always good. We`ll see. Like a friend said…you have to start high so that you have a place to fall back to. So where shall we start the bidding, I ask you. If you like, post in comments.
There was a funny quote written on the packet of sugar you get with the coffee. This is a direct translation.
“I drink fourty cups of coffee per day in order to stay awake and ponder, ponder, ponder, how to beat the tyrants and idiots – Voltaire”
The only problem with answering/not answering them is that it will make the situation worse. I am not saying that it`s unbearable now, but some things could be better. Or at least, some things could be defined better. Uncharted territory sucks big time.