I`ll say it again. I do not get horror movies. They lack storyline, they are boring and predictable and there`s tons of mistakes. Amityville fits the profile to a T. Eventhough it is based on a true story, the whole things is worse than hot shots! the movie.

First, there`s the predictable intro. An arian couple with kids (all of course being blonde and blue-eyed) walk into their dream house. Which is big and cheap. The agent tells them about the murders but they don`t mind. “We will make it work“. Sheesh.

There`s a meaningless fuck scene during which the woman does not strip. OK, either his cock has panties-penetrable abilities (I bet someone is going to google this in the next 48 hours) or the panties are fuck-through (something like see-through only…you get my point).

Despite the odd occurences (doors slamming, baby-sitter carried away by doctors, babbling about ghosts, blood on the wall) they think they can make it work and so they stay. Seriously, this is where almost every horror movie fails to show why someone would be stupid enough to stay.

There is a chase scene that always happens in the middle of a rainy night (why can`t they run during daylight hours?) and a dream sequence that makes the audience believe it`s for real. In the end they run away, drink lemonade and live happy ever after.

There isn`t a single bright side in this movie. The acting is shot to shit, the dialogues are non-existent and the only horror side of this movie is the fact that such movies are even being made. Spare yourself the trouble. Go see “Dark water” instead.

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