Ideal guy

23.10.2005Osebno

(taken from )

These lists are fun. Number one, people often comprise them with stuff they do not know anything about. This is sort of like going “OK, I know this, this and this and I don`t like any of them. So I`ll go with this which I never experienced and see what happens. Let`s check the most bizzare things from 135 (!!!) things she expects from the perfect guy.

7. Dimples – I think a smile with dimples is very important, especially when one is laughing in your face for your incompetence or when he is telling you he is breaking up with you.

17. No facial or body hair (except legs n under arms) – sure babe. Just let me rip off my face and my crotch.

18. and 19. Likes to cuddle – Likes to party – What does she want? An aibo?

23. Grabs my hand to hold – GAH!

24. Kisses me unexpectedly – She expects to be kissed unexpectedly. Good luck!

27. Tells me he misses me when we’re not together – or has no life of his own?

29. Open minded – or just willing to put up with your shit?

34. Likes all type of music – or just has no personality?

44. and 45. Has a car and a dog – WTF?

60. Athletic – Oh boy. If I hear this word one more time when somebody is describing someone I`ll ram a javelin or a discus down their throats. Seriously people…athletic??? What kind of athlet? Runner? Weight-lifter? Swimmer?

65. Treats me like a princess – Locks you in a tower?

74. Likes everything about me – Heh. Optimist.

128. Cares about world issues – HAHAHAHAHA

132. Has hopes, dreams, and wishes – So you have something to kill, right?

134. Will watch chick flicks even if he doesn’t like them – Ahem. Isn`t that against good taste you expect him to have?

I know, this is romantic. This is childish. This is an 18 yrs old girl trying to get Leonardo di Caprio, Tom Cruise, Russel Crowe and Angelina Jolie all in one person. Let`s look at the more adult list, someone who is in her soon-to-be 30s.

1. He has talent I can respect. Either he is a great artist or a musician with his own style or otherwise great at some craft. His talent doesn’t follow the herd. – Cute. So when he blows you off and you go crying to someone who cares, you`ll say “Ah, at least he is not following the herd!” And what`s wrong with being tone-deaf? Seriously, artists are overrated. Especially musicians which either a) think they are gods and that everybody should worship them or b) think they are misunderstood by everybody and are constantly searching for that one person that will you know, get them.

5. He is financially solvent. He doesn’t spend money he doesn’t have and doesn’t try to buy a woman’s affection. He plans his livestyle to be uncomplicated and has common sense in regards to what is a wise investment or not. – Why? So that you can spend all his money for him?

10. He is a one woman guy. He is not constantly searching for new ass. He’s not an oral freak and wants to be with a girl who isn’t into it either. He likes touching, kissing, giving and receiving massages. He knows where tha g-spot is. – THA? THA? Seriously lady, get your act together and your spellcheck out cause otherwise you are goin to THA luny bin! And what in the god`s name is an oral freak? That he brushes his teeth once a day? Or that you don`t want to go down on him?

15. He was not raised catholic and 17. He believes in karma. – Oh sure. As long as he`s not catholic. Muslims are great!

17. He listens to his inner voice and doesn’t deny his real feelings. He can discuss issues and conflicts civily, even though a complete resolution may not come about. – Ahem. Listening to inner voices is tricky. Son of Sam did it. And look where it got him.

Does any of you guys have a list?