The plan was simple.

Go to the drugstore, go to the mall, get back, drink lemonade. The end.

Simple plans are never simple. Ever. I should`ve known that by now.

The drugstore:

Some weird people go to places like this. They DO sell drugs, right? Anyway, there were two lines. One with people who actually had prescription for stuff and one where hypochondriacs can get their (hopefully) non-lethal fix. Today, there was only one person in the hypochondriacs line. A woman. Who, by the looks of it, was there from yesterday. She needed everything. Something for her nose, head, eyes, ears, mouth, lips, something for breathing, something for her heart, something for her stomach, legs, feet… You name it, she`s got it. And I don`t know about you, but for me, drugstore is the LAST PLACE ON EARTH where I would speak of my physical problems OUT LOUD. Usually, I walk in, give the piece of paper to the pharmacist, wait for the drug and leave. No “Oh you know, I got the shits really bad and I need something to stop the flow. Oh, and by the way, throw in some of those pills that make your vagina stop bleeding cause man, when blood and shit mix, it ain`t pretty. Oh and what about those cough pills? This morning I thought something died in my mouth and I had to get it out…” type of talk for this mister. But apparently, some people do exactly that.

The mall:

Big mistake going in right after the holiday but it had to be done. Apparently, that`s the motto of a whole bunch of people because they too stormed the malls (at least the one I was in) in search of truth, happiness, potatoes and cabbage. The most interesting part was observing the crowd as I was running around frantically, trying to find this.

You have two types of people – Nervous ones and the calm ones. While the nervous ones just want to get out, trying to buy as many things from the list as possible, the calm ones just sort of float around, sucking in the atmosphere. Oh, I hate the calm ones.

You see them, with their half-empty trolleys, sailing on the sea of people, buying useless shit like wine, pop-corn and olives. They`re not there cause it`s necessary for them to be there, they are there cause they want to be there. They LIKE it there. Ugh.

For me, going to the mall is like going on the battlefield. You get your gun a.k.a the basket, you get your support a.k.a a piece of paper with items written on it and off you go, into the heat of the battle. The goal is to get out as quickly as possible without losing your mind or any vital organs. And there is nothing worse than waiting at the cash register for a certain individual standing in front of you to suddenly discover that he/she has to buy something else and he/she rushes back in while you wait like a jackass with a cucumber, oil and the thing in your hands. Or when the whole family is waiting in line. I never did understood that. I get two people are waiting to keep each other company but five? Seriously, you really do not need to crowd the place up like that. One is enough.

And don`t get me started on kids in the malls. That topic deserves its own blog.

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