The topic for today is joys of christmas time. And don`t get me wrong, I like it, I really do…what I don`t like is the fact that during this time of year, people turn into…something else. It`s all “hohoho” in the streets but the second you walk into a supermarket or a mall, it`s a completely different scene. People, all nervous and hyped, pushing those carts around like they`re driving a tank. Is it just my imagination, or are the carts getting bigger every year? I mean, soon you`ll really be able to drive them…or ever better…a cart will come completed with a driver that`ll ask “Where to sir?” and you`ll go “To the meat…and step on it! We want to cut off those snails at the dairy products section!“. I just don`t get this tension, this pushing yourself over the top around christmas and new year. It`s a time of relaxation and unwinding and people usually do the exact opposite. They hype up, get all busy and active and miss all the fun. And by the time they realise what is happening, the show`s over and here comes january. Sheesh.

And it is just my imagination, or does this christmas time starts earlier every year? Soon, we`ll start celebrating it in November. I mean…it`s nice and everything…but didn`t things got just a little out of hands? It`s like pushing your birth date backwards, so that you`ll be able to celebrate it early. I mean, if they are gonna push this thing any further…they are gonna have set the city on fire to…heighten the experience. I walked the streets today (no camera, sorry) and the whole thing was already up and running. The lights, the people…it`s like new year is coming tomorrow. While in reality, it`s still 20 days away. OK, 15 days. Beginning your celebration five days ahead is still plenty.

I think I`ll send four cards this year. Four and that`s it. I`m not one of those people who turn into a pressing factory and stamp out fifty cards and oh-is-this-creative- they`ll-never-figure- it-out scan their signatures and then print them on a cheap piece of paper. Dammit, I want my cards to be hand-written if not hand-made. And if you are not man enough to make your own card, for the love of god, go with the ones from Unicef and help some poor kid. If you`re gonna waste money, you might as well waste it on something good.

And the food will start rolling in. Sigh. All that food. Why can`t they spread it around the whole year and stop focusing on this season only? It`s like…too much of everything. And the “special stuff” like cakes and potica is losing their value. The market is overrun with it and it just…is not as good as it once was. Potica and hot fruit tea. Hmmm. Drooling.

And the firecrackers. My god. The root of all evil. Where do people see the pleasure of a firecracker blowing up I will never know. OK, fireworks are slightly different although I still think we could manage even without those, but those simple firecrackers that just make a noise…that, my friends, to me is the biggest mystery of them all. Plus every year a couple of kinds looses their fingers (if they are lucky) or their sight and hearing (if they are unlucky). There was a guy once who tried to make the biggest firecracker of them all. So he ripped the little ones apart, collecting gunpowder from them. The only problem was, he did that on a steel desk. With a knife. And he made a spark. Do your physics. And take it easy.